Seek No Approval, Instead Be Your Best

Photographer:  Tamarah Ellen   |  Fashion:  Lillo Bella Boutique

We all are looking for approval at different times, but who do we seek approval from? That is the most important factor here, for we often wait for approval from people who will never give it to us. I learned from a great leader that the only approval we need is God’s approval, and if you are a spiritual person, remember this each day you get up. We live in a busy world, and more and more, people have become less attentive.  In a world surrounded by computers, cell phones, and the internet, you are lucky to get eye contact or a simple hello from someone.

People are self-absorbed in technology to the point they would rather speak via a computer than meet face-to-face. Their cell phones and fist bumps have replaced good old-fashioned meetings and handshakes. In fact, fist bumps have become the “new touch.”  This started with the fear of germs during the pandemic but has become the norm. It’s paradise, I suppose, for the classic germophobic.  Personally, I was raised in a family of huggers.  We hug.

PERSONAL TOUCH

For me, to feel approval, a simple hug can make a world of difference to my day.  A hug is worth a million emotions.  It's a personal touch, and it means I trust you, you’re important, you matter, and I want to make your day seem brighter.  It says many things in just a matter of cozy, warm seconds. Remember, actions speak louder than words. Social media presence doesn't have that personal imprint on the soul.

Photographer:  Tamarah Ellen

Today, we post our world on social media in hopes of getting “likes or loves” for approval.  It’s almost sad in a way, for most of them are from people we’ve never even met. If you are an artist, you post your art, hoping for approval from many people who know nothing about art.  If someone doesn’t come to our page, suddenly we are upset, questioning, “Why?”  We’ve all been guilty of this, and it’s searching for approval or love from all the wrong places. Imagine finding the time to spend all day “liking” posts on social media.  How would you have a life?  Yet, we worry when someone doesn’t acknowledge our posts. I would rather see someone in person to follow up on how their life is going than spend a day on my phone in the news feed.  One may find it hard-pressed to get someone to meet you, however. We get the proverbial, “I’m so busy,” and yet what are they busy doing?  They are posting on social media, of course. 😉

“Do not look for approval, except for the consciousness of doing your best.”   Andrew Carnegie

Be your own philosopher of life, stop looking for approval from people, and start believing and trusting in yourself. The most important one in life to win approval from, if you are a spiritual believer, is God, and none of the rest matters.  If you are not a believer, find something greater than yourself and learn through the laws of the universe and attraction. Manifest great people into your life that lift you and inspire you. Follow your heart and make time for those who make time for you.  Spend less time on the internet and more time doing what others are not doing by meeting in person.  You may set a new trend.  Who will you trust the most, those willing to meet face-to-face or those who don’t have time to do anything more than “messenger?”  Be the trendsetter, not the follower.

One lesson I still must remind myself of over and over is this:  “When you lower your expectations of people, the less you will be disappointed.”  It’s a daily practice and not an easy one, as I always put a lot of faith in people and believe they are inherently good.  Sometimes its not that they are good or bad, it’s that the internet has changed many people’s communication skills, and keeps them often busy doing things that don’t matter, versus spending more time honing their skills, and the craft of being a great communicator. 

Approval and face-to-face communication go hand in hand.  We gain much more approval just from a simple hug and eye contact.  Meet people in person and watch how life will change for you.

I will leave you with this:  “A lot of conversations need to be had in person. Tones need to be heard; facial expressions need to be seen.”  ~Unknown~

To your own success, rock it!

Tamarah Ellen

Photographer:  Tamarah Ellen