I DESERVE

Self-Portait |  Tamarah Ellen

How you feel about yourself can directly affect the outcome of your life.  Do you believe you “deserve” to be happy, successful, and loved?  This is a powerful question to ask yourself. On the outside or conscious level, you may say yes to this question. But what is your subconscious believing?  We are all victims at some time or other in our lives, whether in childhood, adulthood, or both.  As children, we are at the mercy of our parents, who are God-like to us. How they speak to us, praise or not praise, love or not love, directly develops deep subconscious feelings about who we believe we are or what we deserve. 

Over the years I have learned quite a bit through reading and attending self-help seminars. Personal growth is essential in life; with relationships, working with people and owning your own business. One powerful thing I learned is that some of the most seemingly confident people, those who appear to have it all figured out, can be the most damaged deep inside.  We all have our brokenness; some are better at disguising it than others. That inner child inside of each of us is often screaming for love and attention, along with reassurance that we are worthy.  We are all worthy and do not need anyone’s approval. However, in today’s world, with the fast-growing speed of technology and the forever changing of new social media, we have placed ourselves, once again, in victim-hood.

"Cat Fight Among Mares"  |  Photographer:  Tamarah Ellen

Not the Whole Truth

Social media seemed exciting at first, a way to connect with people from the past and even make new friends.  It seemed playful and fun, but it quickly exposed us to the emotional and damaging aspects of one’s self-esteem. This new exposure left many feeling left out, as if they were missing something. Suddenly, they weren’t enough. The fake lifestyles and happiness that people shared turned into mind games. I’ve listened to interviews where this behavior was damaging to teenagers, as they would see where they weren’t included in certain activities or parties. It also trickles into adults, especially those who may be alone or have no family.  They were missing out, or were they?

"There are no secrets in life; just hidden truths that lie beneath the surface."  Michael C. Hall | Actor

People don’t post the truth on social media, the whole truth anyway.  They post what they want people to believe about themselves, their life and their journey.  It’s a bit like a resume or CV. We brag about the great stuff, the trips, the homes, the friends, the parties, but no one shares the whole truth. That’s not to say that the good stuff isn’t real; it's just not the whole picture.  Of course not.  Deserving is knowing this truth and staying focused on what matters most; your own journey and knowing you deserve your own truth, not deception.

Focus on Your Truth

Social media quickly became a bragging platform and even a hate platform for some. It was a bit of a “my life is better than yours” place. A person must stay strong and remember that what you see isn't always the truth. Focus on yourself and your truth. I am grateful for my personal development journey, which I started years ago, traveling to many states and engaging in various seminars. This prepared me for my  “I deserve” journey. Personal development is not a one-time fix; it is a lifetime project that we work on for eternity as the world is forever changing.  People are changing; our governments are changing, wanting more power.  This creates fear, resulting in anger. Fear is the opposite of faith, and the effect is depression; anger turned inward.  All these things change our feelings of self-worth. Suddenly, we question whether we are worthy of happiness, success, and even love.  The bottom line is, yes, we are worthy. We do not need others’ approval, and we certainly do not need the approval of Facebook acquaintances.  We all are sinners, and we all deserve to be forgiven.  We also must forgive others. Deserve is powerful, and until we realize this, we can forever spiral into settling for less, depression, and even guilt.

Get Real and Face to Face

I view social media as a great place to visit, share my work, and share inspiration. However, it is not a place for me to catch up. I believe in real-time, face-to-face connections. Although it can be great when we are in a busy place to drop in and say hello, the human voice, hugs, and pats on the back are the most powerful healing experiences.  Human contact is what deserving is all about.  I deserve to have true friends, I deserve to be hugged, and I deserve to sit down and speak with someone face-to-face.  In other words, “I deserve your time.”

"Lean on Me"  |  Photographer:  Tamarah Ellen

Make time for yourself first. Spend more time with people who will spend time with you. Take time to heal and affirm your worthiness.  Affirm “I deserve” each day.  After I deserve, list the things you deserve.  Daily affirmations build up our subconscious level and demand that we are worthy.  Remember that social media has its good points, but remember you deserve more.  It’s most important to remember that the truth isn’t what meets the eye on social media, and to learn to be happy where you are.  When we learn to be happy where we are, our dreams come quicker and at the right time.

In my experience, people who have more can often envy those who have less because they feel something is missing in their lives. Some areas of their lives feel empty. The things don't make us happy. It is the fulfillment of our journey that enriches our soul. The things are the icing on the cake. Seek our your cake first, and then the icing will come. I love my dreams and enjoy pursuing them. The journey is exciting, even the frustrating times. Having everything given to you doesn’t build character or enrich your soul.  When you create a dream and begin pursuing that dream each day, you get up, pick yourself up when you fall, and start again; this is what is fulfilling. This is what people will envy who seem to have it all, but didn’t create it. We are all worthy of our dreams, and we deserve them to be fulfilled.  We do the work, make sacrifices, and celebrate each accomplishment along the way, no matter how big or small.  This gives our life purpose.  This fills our cup, and then our cup runneth over.

"Your Journey Begins" |  Photographer:  Tamarah Ellen

Start today, affirming what you deserve, and then work on yourself harder than you do anything else. Personal development is a prerequisite to success and happiness. Make it a priority, and make your affirmations a daily reminder to yourself. Let your journey begin!

To your own success, rock it!